Maybe thats why no-one seems to read this!!
I can feel a controversial rant coming on.
Over the last week i have browsed many, many many blogs on this site of people like me. They are all the same. It seems everyone under 18 on here has tried to kill themselves or are into the whole self-harming thing. This disgusts me. I cannot see how these people can go "I tried to kill myself" or "I cut myself" but then when you read their blogs there seems to be nothing wrong with them apart from their perception of life.
Life's every little choice is a problem, and every little thing posted in their blog gets comments from other little emos saying "Be strong" "Your a soldier" etc. etc.
These arent even real problems!! These people are a disgrace.
I dont understand why they would proclaim the fact that as a naive misguided little 14 year old (or whatever age they were) they thought life was too hard, and cruel so they tried to kill themselves. Is that something you really want people to know?
You should be ashamed that the thought of suicide even entered your head as a young teen. You should be ashamed that you didnt think you'd have an effect on your family or friends if you did go through with it. If you didnt, you obviously weren't in such a bad situation that you wanted to enough and it was all a cry for help, which is pathetic.
Imagine if your best friend killed themselves. How would that make you feel? You weren't enough of a reason for them to keep themselves alive. You didnt see it coming and you couldnt do anything about it.. if it was me i'd feel inadequate, guilty, distraught.. and betrayed.
I look at all of these people and all of them seem to be Goths. Now i have nothing against goths and emos or whatever social group they want to put themselves in, but why dont they ever stop to wonder maybe its their lifestyle? Maybe wearing the black all the time does put a bit of a downer on your whole life, make you feel unattractive etc.
Maybe listening to dark bands does make life seem bleak, as you are meant to aspire to these people yet they sing about raping the virgin mary and hanging the bastard christ? I mean seriously, what the fuck?
Another thing. If you weren't a black cloak yielding "out there" kind of person.. or so hardcore that you get abuse in the streets you might feel a bit better about yourself, thus avoiding the whole selfharm + depression and etc. as a teenager.
This is essentially being bullied which i can sympathize with. Who can't? There isnt one person on earth who hasnt been bullied. You read about people who are just the same as everyone else, maybe a bit cleverer or less socially able being bullied relentlessly and actually killing themselves. Reading these stories make me sick to the bone and angry at the scum-eating bullies. But, sometimes if you are getting a bit of abuse you do essentially need to look in the mirror and say am i putting myself up for this? Maybe the eyeliner, the opposite sex clothes, the matrix leather jackets and the metal-lined boots are a bit excessive.
Let me make myself clear. No-one is perfect, and we all have our faults.. but when we highlight them by trying to be the dark prince of the full moon or whatever, are we really suprised we get absolutely slated?
I have read other blogs about people with real problems. Illnesses and disability. Now thats a real problem. These people are the ones that have a reason to be depressed in life, and yet they appreciate the little things more than any of us. In the majority they soldier on instead of sitting about feeling sorry for themselves and cursing the world for such being such a cunt.
Life is what you make it, and if you are in good health you have the capability to make into whatever you want, to suit you. Next time you feel low think about the people who are ill and then maybe you'll start to realise how lucky you are, and stop all of your whinging.
There are some perfectly nice people on here, and some of them are a true pleasure to gain insight from. Normal people, with interesting experiences to write about. Not samey emo blogs.
"The fine tapestry of life is weaved from threads of good and bad" - William Shakespeare
