Yesterday

I woke at 6am for the first time in years. I wouldnt be too bothered except i only got to sleep at around 2ish and was behind a few hours anyway so when i awoke i wasnt best pleased. I went downstairs and played on football manager until about 9 when my mum came down and sent me to do some work.
I revised some history for about an hour before collapsing on my books and snoozing until early afternoon. I woke up and it was probably the most satisfying sleep ever, felt really really nourished. I worked some more and then watched Big Brother with mum and sister, i could tell from about the 3rd housemate it was going to be all girls.
Wasnt impressed with channel 4's lack of imagination there. On first impressions my favourite girl is Leslie (the oldest) she is hilarious, i was watching her on BB live today and was great she is bewildered by everyone else a bit.. i like her already.
To help with my bad sleep dad gave me a banana before bed for extra seratonin in my bloodstrea? Would help he said.

And it did.

Today
I have done a load of Biology, finished off a physics paper for my tutor and started chemistry but lost all concentration so came on here to write this and continue with my book.
Dan sent me the opening section of his and its all a description of the lead, and involves amateur theater. Was very well written.
I now have a story to mine and am putting the finishing touches to the plot before properly starting. Its going to be good. Will blow his out of the water.

7 Facts About Me

No-one's tagged me, but everyone else has done it so..
I dont have 7 friends to tag myself anyway!

1) I am told i look like a panda.
2) Matthew Kelly (Stars In Their Eyes) once waved at me out of nowhere..
3) Roy Keane has had a go at me twice in my lifetime. He scares me.
4) I am a keen Manchester City supporter.
5) I once organised a 2000 people pillowfight in Manchester.
6) I've been on national radio
7) When i'm older and rich i want to have my house interior in the style of the house on the Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare cover.
Like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwy-XuCIXiI (Ignore Graham Hughes, he sounds like a twat)

"Do a blog. Everyone does them these days." I said to him.

He doesnt know that i have this one.

"Nah. I'm better than that. There's more inside me," He replied.

Now, what is wrong with a blog? What makes him better than me? His comments were frankly outrageous.

Anyway, his book is 100% fabricated (made up) and set in 19th Century Paris or Moscow. I think he's going to choose Paris, he's quite bohemian and stuff for a 16 year old so he'll be right in his element. He's going to have himself as a character in the story, and i may play some part in it.. or a character inspired by me. What an honour!
Knowing Dan it will be hilarious, i dont know how he's going to do it. I'd lose interest straight away, mind you i have been doing this for nearly 2 months! Wahay! Made 4 "friends" in the process aswell! Isnt that great. Makes me happy. This blog is also provoking me to think more, about general life.. and its a nice output that i'll be able to look back on and stuff. I can see it being around for a very long time.. im hooked now!

Maybe i'll write a book too.. i could put bits on here.
Mine and the other Dan's could go head to head upon release.
Wouldnt that be fun.. definitely a thought to ponder.

I am revising today.. i have maths and Geography exams next tuesday. I think i'll watch "One Hour Photo" tonight at 9. Looks nice and intelligent.

My dad's consulatant had some wise words. We'll wait 2 weeks and if nothing has improved then dad will start putting things in motion for retirement. No work for him for 2 weeks then.. he's cancelled virtually everything now.

So, for my 40th post something a little less controversial??

I have just finished watching Enduring Love on Film 4 with the folks. Fantastic film, Daniel Craig is a fantastic actor. Rhys Ifans scared the shit out of me, creepy devil.
I'd seen him in Notting Hill and was wetting myself, but this was just so, so creepy. It really made me think about when i was little getting taught to "Not talk to strangers" and how right that was. I hadnt thought about something like that in years and now with Madeline McCann events it seems even more relevant.
I still dont understand why Rhys Ifans was in the field and how he got there when the baloon accident happened, and i swear Daniel Craig actually was the first one to let go

Daniel Craig: "Stop following me. Your a mad old bastard."
Rhys Ifans: "You know at one time they said Jesus was mad."
DC: "Really? They said it about a lot of mad people too."

Good film.

Maybe thats why no-one seems to read this!!

I can feel a controversial rant coming on.

Over the last week i have browsed many, many many blogs on this site of people like me. They are all the same. It seems everyone under 18 on here has tried to kill themselves or are into the whole self-harming thing. This disgusts me. I cannot see how these people can go "I tried to kill myself" or "I cut myself" but then when you read their blogs there seems to be nothing wrong with them apart from their perception of life.
Life's every little choice is a problem, and every little thing posted in their blog gets comments from other little emos saying "Be strong" "Your a soldier" etc. etc.
These arent even real problems!! These people are a disgrace.

I dont understand why they would proclaim the fact that as a naive misguided little 14 year old (or whatever age they were) they thought life was too hard, and cruel so they tried to kill themselves. Is that something you really want people to know?
You should be ashamed that the thought of suicide even entered your head as a young teen. You should be ashamed that you didnt think you'd have an effect on your family or friends if you did go through with it. If you didnt, you obviously weren't in such a bad situation that you wanted to enough and it was all a cry for help, which is pathetic.

Imagine if your best friend killed themselves. How would that make you feel? You weren't enough of a reason for them to keep themselves alive. You didnt see it coming and you couldnt do anything about it.. if it was me i'd feel inadequate, guilty, distraught.. and betrayed.

I look at all of these people and all of them seem to be Goths. Now i have nothing against goths and emos or whatever social group they want to put themselves in, but why dont they ever stop to wonder maybe its their lifestyle? Maybe wearing the black all the time does put a bit of a downer on your whole life, make you feel unattractive etc.
Maybe listening to dark bands does make life seem bleak, as you are meant to aspire to these people yet they sing about raping the virgin mary and hanging the bastard christ? I mean seriously, what the fuck?

Another thing. If you weren't a black cloak yielding "out there" kind of person.. or so hardcore that you get abuse in the streets you might feel a bit better about yourself, thus avoiding the whole selfharm + depression and etc. as a teenager.

This is essentially being bullied which i can sympathize with. Who can't? There isnt one person on earth who hasnt been bullied. You read about people who are just the same as everyone else, maybe a bit cleverer or less socially able being bullied relentlessly and actually killing themselves. Reading these stories make me sick to the bone and angry at the scum-eating bullies. But, sometimes if you are getting a bit of abuse you do essentially need to look in the mirror and say am i putting myself up for this? Maybe the eyeliner, the opposite sex clothes, the matrix leather jackets and the metal-lined boots are a bit excessive.

Let me make myself clear. No-one is perfect, and we all have our faults.. but when we highlight them by trying to be the dark prince of the full moon or whatever, are we really suprised we get absolutely slated?

I have read other blogs about people with real problems. Illnesses and disability. Now thats a real problem. These people are the ones that have a reason to be depressed in life, and yet they appreciate the little things more than any of us. In the majority they soldier on instead of sitting about feeling sorry for themselves and cursing the world for such being such a cunt.

Life is what you make it, and if you are in good health you have the capability to make into whatever you want, to suit you. Next time you feel low think about the people who are ill and then maybe you'll start to realise how lucky you are, and stop all of your whinging.

There are some perfectly nice people on here, and some of them are a true pleasure to gain insight from. Normal people, with interesting experiences to write about. Not samey emo blogs.

"The fine tapestry of life is weaved from threads of good and bad" - William Shakespeare

So, my dad has rapidly deteriorated this weekend. He looks an absolute wreck.. really pale and ill.. not good at all.
He was emailing around today cancelling work and is going to speak with people and is seriously considering early retirement. I'm absolutely gutted for him, but at the same time im not suprised, as he has done extremely well to work as much as he has in his career considering he's had four operations and stuff.
There are people with much less severe chrones than my dad who stopped work long ago. I have much sympathy for them, but hearing about them makes me completely proud of my dad.

Considering his condition he's done extremely well and i have increasing respect for him because of it. No matter what decision he makes i am 100% behind him, and he's my dad so i love him to bits whether he works or not.
We'll be looked after as he has a good pension plan but he must be feeling really down about the whole thing getting on top of him after all these years, and he's supposed to be the providing male of the family and etc. but it makes no difference to me if he is or not.

All i wish for him is hapiness.

Alice's was great, much better than Nialls. I had a really good time, Conor got a bit worse for wear. Her house was amazing.

Was an absolute wreck in the morning, so went for an absolute mooch to Altrincham with everyone at 8.30 this morning for a Subway but it was closed, so i went back to Ell's and we made our own sandwhiches. Better, nicer, super-sandwhiches!

My mum picked me up and i went home and straight to bed until mid afternoon. It was then that the fun began.

I was still slightly drunk, and had some crazy dreams. Monsters came out from the earth and there was complete anarchy, people going on rampages everywhere and stuff.. was like something out of Grand Theft Auto! haha.. madness.
It was so, so vivid aswell.. a bit creepy.

My dads talking about cancelling work he's got booked due to illness.. he's spending more time in bed than me at the moment. Not looking good at all, so he's going to see his specialist at MRI tomorrow. (Manchester Royal Infirmary)

Also, just quickly, the funniest advert on TV at the moment!

Class!

Yesterday was hopefully a reflection of what summer will be like. I woke up at 9.15 and revised for the morning until about 12. For the purpose of this fantasy lets say i lay in until 12.

I got some beers and met Dan, Hayley, Clarke, Rosie, and Claire and then we went to the park. The time in the park was spent drinking, joking and.. singing courtesy of Hayley. It was wicked though.. and we all saw a mutual friend so he came and sat with us. He wasnt any good for conversation though, he was stoned.
Everyone went seperate ways and i met Conor. Everyone was going to Nialls later, and we were all going to meet up again there, so me and Conor set off from the park and walked to Nialls, where Ell already was. Me, Ell, Con and Ni all chillaxed for a bit, joked about with his older brother on Youtube for a bit until girls arrived. The rest of the evening was outside in his garden and it was really nice. A Day of friends.. it was class.

I stayed at Con's, we're tight again now, which is a relief. It was really stressing me out a week ago. I got brought home and revised again, and am going to set off out again in about an hour, to go to Alice's for a similar evening, yet more alcohol. That will be good. A lot of steam is being let off this weekend, revision taking a backseat for a while.
Maybe it isnt the wisest thing but i feel good for it.

On a less positive note, my dad is getting ill again. He's spending more and more time in bed, and has constant stomach pains, a sign that the Chrones is back. Bummer. I hope he doesnt go into hospital again, thats the worst, not having dad around, mum crying and always upset.. it gets me down too, and everything is much more difficult. I really, really dont want that to happen.

I watched "Be Cool" yesterday. I think i preferred it to "Get Shorty". There were many more laugh out loud moments.. Andre 3000 and Cedric The Entertainer made me laugh a lot.
It got much worse reviews than "Get Shorty" though.. i found "Get Shorty" easier to follow so i dont reallly know which was my favourite. Very confusing. Vince Vaughan made me laugh.. here's a funny clip with him and Le Salle.

I'm going to rent pulp fiction over the next few days.. i'm getting quite good at this movie lark!

I revised.

Have just watched Get Shorty on DVD, and have Be Cool to watch tomorrow aswell.

I need some fuckin exercise.
This is what an unwalked dog must feel like..
I Feel so bloated an unfit... dam.

When i have the time to do it i'll appreciate it more i suppose.

Some people are playing poker tonight. I hate poker.
Going pub tomorrow night though.
I'll get exercise before then. That'll make me feel good.

I have done a chemistry past paper, and read through loads of history already today.

Not only that but i was reading through the festival guide from NME that i bought earlier and i really am so looking forward to Glastonbury now. Its only just starting to hit me how good its going to be. A weekend of being pissed (not so much that i cant remember anything) and running around and just being a rascal is going to be too much fun! Some of the stories i was hearing from this guide were absolutely hilarious and its going to be an amazing experience.
Will really kick off summer hopefully.

I've not got any more exams for like a week and a half, then i have Geography.
After that its 2 weeks of constant exams, like 2 every day. Not looking forward to it but it will all be over soon so thats good.

Champions League final is tonight i'd love to go to something like that in my lifetime, a major sporting event. The olympics would be the obvious choice, but insted im aiming for the 2014 world cup in Brazil. Its not been confirmed as being in Brazil, but they're the only country putting themselves up for it. It would be just after university and probably my last time of true freedom before full time employment and then settling down so that would be great. I want to be able to look back when i'm old and say, "Yeah, i lived life," so travelling and doing things like Glastonbury will hopefully happen more and more in coming years.

Anyway, back to the champions league final. 2-1 to Liverpool i think. It'd be great for an english club to win it whoever, and its even better that Liverpool are from the north. Gerrard, Kewell and Kaka will score i think.. or maybe Robbie Fowler with a late penalty.. we'll see!

I have recently started enhancing my Blog, and the whole Igor Akineev experience with various forms of media, so to continue in that fashion..

I'm really getting into the chemical brothers at the moment, and i love Ali Love's vocals on this track. Another personal favourite is "The Boxer". I haven't really got anything by them on my ipod so maybe if they have a greatest hits i'll start my education.

I'll put the boxer up tomorrow maybe..

Just before i go to bed, this is the first time i've ever made 3 posts in one day! Hopefully this will break my record of 16 visitors in one day.

Anyways, i suppose i should let you know what happened. Mum, dad and sister turned up at the Parr Hall, and sister was very young compared to most. She got a funny look off an overweight goth at the front of the queue and didnt want to go in. Mum and dad werent too bothered either way and were only going because she couldnt go on her own, so they sold their tickets for a tenner each to some "emo kids" mum described them as.

What a terrible waste of money. I stayed in, Brian was entertaining as ever, not outstanding, just entertaining. 28 Weeks Later is fantastic i'm sure but the pirated copy i was watching's poor quality didnt do the film any justice. I doubt it was as good as 28 days later anyway, and the ending was too predictable with the Infected in Paris. I'll rent it when its out on DVD and watch it again though just to be certain of it.

I think a few friends went to the pub again tonight but i couldnt be bothered really. It would have been mediocre at best no doubt. I'll go on Friday for karaoke haha..

Nighty night everyone!
Lie-in tomorrow i need it!

They're not great, and have one song that i like (Munich and thats it.) I've come to the conclusion that i am absolutely wiped out (had the longest nap this afternoon and im still tired) and the only reason i was considering going because yet again my sister was stupid enough to book 5 tickets for her friends yet none of them came in the end. Its completely ridiculous, she doesnt know the value of money at all, and has about double spent on her what i do each weekend. Im not bitter at all, she just needs to learn the lesson to help her mature and develop a bit. Hopefully going to Editors, in her hometown, where no doubt people we know will be there, with her mum and dad and 3 empty seats next to her will help her learn that lesson.

Shes done it before, with Jamie Cullum at the Apollo. She made mum and dad booked for her and a friend only to pull out on the night. Not only were mum and dad gutted but had 2 spare tickets, so i bought one and grandma bought the other and we all went and it was fantastic. Going to a concert of any youngish artist with your grandma is an experience i must reccomend. Hilarious.

I'm absolutely blitzed so intend to watch What about Brian at nine, and 28 weeks later on the internet in the meantime. I watch films on www.alluc.org Its a fantastic site for a rainy day, im going to watch Last King Of Scotland next, or might just rent it this weekend..

My favourite episode of Scrubs was on tonight, the one with Matthew Perry, and the classic quote
"I love this moment so much i wanna have sex with it," courtesy of Dr. Cox. The coridoor of old Murrays always makes me laugh aswell.. great stuff.

A classic ignorant Darren quote from hollyoaks just then aswell.
"Money doesn't make hapiness you know Darren."
"Course it does, Only poor people say that and thats just because they're bitter!"

Outrageous. Quite a good Monday though

I had my english Lit. exam today. The little preparation i had done was based around the symbolism of a heron in mice and men, guess what was one of two questions i had to answer??
Good luck helped me there, and the second question was easy so i'm hoping to beat the C that my dad got. He's very sceptical about the way im handling these exams but i think im doing very well so far..

I have also purchased my prom ticket today. June 28th, the weekend after Glastonbury at the new Hilton Hotel in Manchester. Its going to be unbelievable.. hoping for an afterparty after, that would make the night. I need a suit...

After the exam my mum and i went for some food at Puccino's in Stockton Heath which was good, when who should walk in but two Hollyoaks actors, Ciara Jansen (Nicole Owen) and Darren Jeffries(O

I had seen Darren Jeffries in Stockton Heath before but Ciara Jansen is my first Hollyoaks girl!
My mum noticed her and asked if i knew her because she kept looking over when she saw me and became very selfaware with hair and stuff because she knew i'd recognise her.. it was quite funny. I didnt ask for a picture or anything because i feel quite strongly about not doing that, at the end of the day they're just normal people doing normal business and actually not that interesting. If i was famous i'd hate it, and i've always been put off by a friends story of an encounter with Roy Keane who politely told him to "F*** Off!"
I researched it a bit more and according to Wikipedia, Ciara Janson is returning to Hollyoaks briefly in May.

I have an editors ticket for tonight but i dont really want to go with my mum and dad. Im only really a fan of their singles, but this new album should get them big in a similar way to Coldplay with "Rush Of Blood To The Head," but i still am a bit embaressed going with my mum, dad and sister. I havent done that in years, and dont plan to start now. Going seperate from them on my own would just be stupid and i would feel really harsh actually doing it so i think i'm going to stay in tonight. If they get some pictures i'll get them up on here though!

Quite a large post for the day considering its not even 1PM!

Had my second General Studies GCSE today. Wasnt too bad, i still dont understand anything about the stem cell research project or any of that..

Didnt speak to Conor at the exam, and feel a lot better for it. I've got to play his team on xperteleven tonight though.

English Lit. exam tomorrow.
Today im going to revise for that, and download the manic street preachers album.

I love the new Rihanna song aswell, i dont normally like that kind of music. She looks great in the video aswell

Krunk!!

So as i said yesterday, me and Conor had been brought back closer by something bigger than the two of us, but its fallen apart again completely.

We had a really good day yesterday, he rang me in the day and we sorted out going out that night. Me and him were going round to Dans, with Clarke and his stepsister Hayley.
It was a good night, Hayleys Ok, and i ended up staying at Conors. It was a really funny night and we walked home and stayed up talking untill the early hours just about generally everything. I told him why i was mad on Friday and how he'd upset me and stuff, and he apologised again, and it was all good. I emphasised to him dont do it again though.

I got up early and walked for about half an hour along Shaftsbury Avenue until my dad got to me near Altrincham and i went home. I read through english poems and books for my exam tomorrow or Tuesday for the next two hours, and then did some more biology later. I then set up a league on xperteleven for me and everyone else to join as a bit of fun, and by about an hour ago it was filled with all my friends Conor included.
There's a press section on there where you can have a bit of banter, Conor made a post in response to one i'd made to Kingy, and he chose to rip my personal issues again! Fucking cunt!

I went absolutely mental that he could do this after i said to him only the night before don't do it again, so i went on msn to him and told him to "fuck off wit the personal issue shit" and called him something he wouldnt like. Fat.
Completely true, and i would never try and take the mick out of him for it, but it was the only thing that would make him feel how i feel now. Dejected. He went crazy when i said that and said "Dont talk to me" and then blocked me. I'm not even bothered.

I left him a message accusing him of doublestandards, of what he can say to people against what they can say back. How could he be so ignorant? What did he think would happen. I told him if anyone said anything, they'd get a smack, but this is over the internet so i cant do anything. So i gave him a taste of his own.

He needs to get his head out of his own arse if he thinks he can do these things.

Ronkeytonk was 100% right the last time i had this problem. He is a complete Ass Monkey. Me and him are finished now, i want to expose him to everyone else as the cunt that he is now..

I wonder what they're all gonna think when they hear about this. Last time Clarke completely took his side and said we should make up. This time, fuck Conor, fuck anyone else who says im wrong. I know im right. Theres no way i couldnt be. He cannot be like this to me continuously.

Had enough.

So after last nights post, i had a quiet night in and watched the season finale of peep show.

I had a quiet one, no-one else did.

Our group has aggro with a group of year 12s because of something that happened last year. Basically one of them was badmouthing one of my friends, Elliot and i overheard.
I, being the good friend that i am, and very drunk at the time, told my friend what they'd said. It then all kicked off and the year 12s left only to return half an hour later with about twenty of their mates in two cars, and a massive standoff followed outside Claire's house.
They all wanted to get me, and Elliot,but we hid in the house and waited it out. We didnt really have a choice, and so the girls went out and used their feminine charm and fought our battles for us haha... well whatever they did they all left and that was it for then.

I then saw two of the main guys who wanted to get to me in Manchester about a month later when i was with Marianne but these two are notoriously all talk, and so all i got was dirty looks.

Last night however one of their friends rang up Clarke asking for me, Niall, Elliot and Sprucey. But i was the only one they wanted to fight. They wanted my blood, but i wasnt there so i missed it all. But they were threatening to meet them, and me (they didnt know i wasnt there) at the pub anyway, so Elliot and Niall had my back saying they werent getting to me without going through them first and basically what a good friend would do. They were drunk, but at least they had my back and said they would have done it sober.

Conor was the only one with any sense and he rang some older brothers and his mates and they came down. One of these older guy's little sister hangs out with these year 12s and is going out with one of them, so said if they tried anything he'd kill them. (Not literally, we're not all that thuggish up north)
Then another friend from another school who was in the pub rang them and said if they tried anything they'd have all of his school to answer to. This school is a lot harder than these year 12's school is so they pooed it and nothing happened.

Conor rang me this morning and apologised for the way he'd been yesterday, he knew he'd been out of order and he put it down to stress at home. He is having a hard time with the proposed relocation, so i accepted and now the air is cleared.
Based on comments to the last post that possibly wasnt the right thing to do, and i should have ditched him, but we've been friends for too long to let one BAD day come between us, but i made it very clear if he ever did it again i wouldnt hesitate to make my feelings known and we'd be finished. He filled me in on everything that happened last night aswell, which is how i was able to write this post.
He is a friend though, and packs a hell of a punch so if anything happens with these year 12s i have a feeling he'd be there for me.

At a party a while ago there was someone who called Conor a "fat c**t", and then started mouthing off to me. I was stunned and didnt know what to say because i'd never met this guy before in my life, but Conor punched him.
When i asked him why he did it, "Not because of what he said to me, He started ripping my friend," Conor does have his good moments, and even if i did stop being mates with him we'd have to be together most of the time as part of the group, and that wouldnt be good.

Im also reassured by Elliots and Nialls loyalty that i do have some real friends who dont rip me like conor, and have my back when it mattered. Its a good feeling knowing that

Moving on, FA Cup final today, 2-1 to chelsea, Scholes scores first. I'm not brilliant at predicting scores so keep that in mind. I'd hate to see United win the double though, i wouldnt hear the end of it!

Conor really is going Newcastle. At first i was gutted, but as the day went on, there was only me, dan, clarke and him in Manchester, so he just kept on ripping into me relentlessly. I now really couldnt care if he does go.
He was telling stories of things that happened during nights of like year 9/10, making me look like a dick, and him look like God's Gift. He's a complete ass based on today. I walk slightly ahead of people and look in shop windows and stuff, i dont know why its just a habit, and he kept leading everyone else away from me down alleyways and then sprinting off. He didnt get very far, the fat fucker. But he kept trying to do it again and again, even when we got back to Altrincham hours later.

We'd been in Starbucks in town, and it was quiet and dead chilled. Conor slobs out on the sofa, puts his shoes (disgusting grubby Gola things) on the table and shouts, laughs and swears the loudest i've ever heard anyone in Starbucks. He's an embaressment at times like that, i just kept my head down and hoped no-one came over to say anything, which they didnt. Which maybe he needs. No-one ever tells him when he's wrong, so to him, he's always right. His opinion is always correct, and anyone anyone else thinks is wrong. He's got no social awareness, no etiquette and its really starting to do my head in.

He rips me because of personal issues that i'm not going to go into on here. I was open about it 6 months ago, and it doesnt bother me really, so when people first started making jokes about it i didnt do anything because it didnt bother me, but now its every time i'm out with him, something gets him onto these issues and i've had enough. It goes on and on and other people start contributing, and its all a big joke to some because they dont have anything that effects them in the same way. Theres nothing wrong with me or anything, and im not disabled at all, its just the way i am, and yet its all a big joke..

Later on he made me look like a prick in front of girls by telling them stuff that i'd told him in confidence as soon as i was just out of earshot. I am by no way homophobic, i am not gay myself, but i said something that was borderline hetrosexual and he tells girls it and puts a spin on it like i'm some gay pervert. They all think i'm weird and gay now because of it (not that being gay is weird) and its upsetting.
Its not the first time he's done stuff like that behind my back though, at Toms a while ago he told a girl i used to be very good mates with about the same personal issues mentioned before when i was just out of earshot, but i walked in halfway through it all. She thinks im weird now, and i cant talk to her out of embarresment and awkwardness now. The worst thing is, i never would have found out if i hadnt walked in on it.

Sorry for dragging on but if you've got this far reading then, please carry on, i just need to get it all off my chest.

We were best mates but now, today we just argued or he annoyed me hugely. He's just a bully really, everything he does has to be ripping someone, me or anyone else, everything is always a put down with Conor. Well today i decided
This is where i start to stand up for myself.

Anyone who mentions the personal issue to try and rip me gets a smack if it was out of nowhere, and i'm going to avoid getting into social situations with Conor and other people.

The sooner he leaves the better is my opinion at the moment. It sounds harsh but you dont know how angry, betrayed and upset i feel at the moment.

Today's only consolation is that i bought some Ian Brown tickets for October next year. My mum and dad are going too, but we'll make our own way.

Thanks for reading this complete essay.

Went OK. Got 78 on the first one so need to hope for 82 for an A. I'm hopeful.

I got a lift home from my mum and we dropped Luke off at his. He's quality, known him since babies and he's a good mate. I dont hang out with him at the weekend or anything but we have history and family links. He's leaving ambrose next year and going a college in Warrington so its going to be weird next year. I didnt use to go the same primary school until about year 5 as him, and dont remember the playgroup days but i've been getting a bus with him for the past.. 7 years, twice daily and so him not being there in the mornings or evenings is going to be strange. It sums life up at the moment really.
Dan is leaving next year aswell, which will be a bit strange, but he's still going to be around at the weekends and stuff aswell.
Conor's just told me he's moving to Newcastle in October because his dad got a new job with a massive pay rise. So large he's paying for his mums house aswell, as she needs a fresh start, and he has no choice in the matter. He says he'll be back at weekends, but he is more unreliable than Dan.
I'm not even sure i believe it, his mum and dad are divorced, i dont understand why his mum wants to move to Newcastle, and he has a reputation for playing out elaborate plotlines as a joke.

I watched Eastenders and The Bill tonight, both very entertaining. I never used to watch Eastenders but have been recently, its easy to dip in and out, better suited to it than Holloaks i think. The car crash was good, i think Phil's son will die as he has a tragic life anyway. Or maybe Phil will, and the son will have to live with the abusive Stella, i doubt that though, i would have heard about it beforehand if Phil Mitchell was getting killed off.

The Bill was good. Someone fell off a high building last time i watched. Madness, i used to watch The Bill reguarly but grew out of it. The times never suited me.

I got a haircut today, looks rather fly if you ask me. £20 well spent. (Not my money) I went shopping to Morrisons with my mum earlier aswell. She wanted me to get the food i'd be eating, as Dad will be working a bit this weekend, and she's gone off to Amsterdam to meet my Aunty who is in Europe for a while.
She moved to Atlanta about a year ago, and has lived in Australia and India before that. I used to hate her when i was younger and she used to hate kids, but now that im older, and a lot taller than her she seems to have a little more respect for me. And me back. When you talk to her really she's a pussycat.
She used to be a vet but hated it so went back to Uni. and became a human doctor. She now works for Central Disease Control or something in the States and spends weeks at a time in Africa helping with healthcare over there. Thats all im told. I dont really ask.

Tomorrow im going to book Ian Brown tickets for me and Dan. He's playing the Parr Hall in Warrington in October so it will be a Glastonbury reunion i suppose. I have music of the spheres, and havent really listened to The Stone Roses as much as i probably should, or Happy Mondays, or James. But the guy is an absolute legend so would be an incredible night no doubt.

He lives in Lymm, 2 minutes from me, and i saw him once, eating a ribena ice on a sunny day on the way back from the co-op. He looked like a rockstar then.. at first i thought it was Liam Gallagher!

This post was huge, apologies, not even that much happened! I'll update the situation with girl#3 tomorrow... Until then!

Was today. The first GCSE.

Didnt go too bad, i did a 30 mark question on celebrities. Doubt i'll ever get to do that again.

I've been playing table tennis again recently. I got well into it when we first moved house but then overplayed so that it eventually lost all magic and appeal. Now however, the magics back. Isnt that brilliant.
I lose every time though because im so out of practice.

19 exams over the next month. Like 3 parties possible aswell.
Its going to be hugely eventful over the next few weeks. I can tell

RE is tomorrow. Hope it goes well

Desktop computers at my house dont work.

They just constantly crash. Its not good for coursework, or my morale so im looking into getting a laptop.

If anyone knows of a good laptop or a good price from a certain seller please let me know because i really dont know where to begin.

Do you have a laptop?

Is it good?

The last one before GCSE's properly start.

It was 2 close friends birthdays but we did nothing. Clare wanted to go town for hers, but ID issues stopped that. Rumour has it she was quite upset, but i havnt spoke to her yet so thats unconfirmed.

Nialls is today. A sunday, so really he knew nothing was going to happen but it just seems such a waste. We could have had a really good time this weekend but instead we been inside revising or doing nothing at Conors. You're only 16 once, glad mine was in January!

Me, Dan, Clarke (we've now reconciled!!) and Slevin went to Cons. I brought a few PS2 games round, but he didnt have his PS2 so instead we got a takeaway and watched Eurovision and some films that were on after that. Eurovision was good, Conor was going mad for Ukraine.. i was basically the only person in the room reppin the UK! Fucking serbians won.. knobs.
Afterwards was "Dragonfly" with Kevin Costner. Im not really a fan of him but while everyone else was in and out for cigs i got really into this film and the ending was a good one.
After that everyone else wanted to watch "Next Friday" with Ice Cube. Normaly i'd be ok with that, and would get into that aswell, but it was just so poor. Didnt understand it, couldnt understand what they were all saying (A year or two ago i would have been fine!) and it was just.. crap.

I fell asleep like 1/2 the way through, as did everyone else. It was a quiet night.

I had the strangest dream though. I saved the world from a nuclear holocaust terrorist attack and everyone was thanking me. I looked like Rambo, and Clarkey was comin up to me screaming "YEEEAH!" in my face, and then Girl#3 was trying to talk to me because she'd been ditched by everyone she knew as overnight she had a severe overdose of Acne. But i still fancied her in my dream. It was weird, and in the morning i thought about it and even if she wasnt as good looking as she is, i probably would still fancy her as she has this incredible personality.
I should probably make clear aswell, being girl#3 she isnt my third choice. It was just the order i was mentioning the girls in. She's probably been the benchmark for all of the girls i've ever fooled around with in my life, she's just the ultimate.

Anyway, that was the complete weekend really. How poor.

Exams approaching.. damn.

Is the highlight of my Friday night these days.

Eating a barbecued dog is pretty low, but oh so funny.

By like my best mate Clarkey?
Tempers were running high in a game of football, but it was still well out of order.. He knows if he does it again i would not hesitate to him back. And i have a much harder punch then him when i want to.

Pure shock was the immediate reaction. No-one expected it all, it was completely uncalled for, out of the blue and not like him at all. If i was in his position i wouldnt have escalated it so quickly..

People said they would have backed me up, but they probably said the exact same to him. It put me on a downer for the rest of the day really. It wasnt a good feeling. Not the pain, there wasnt much of a connection, it just felt more gutted that a supposed mate would completely fuck me over like that for no good reason.

We made up a couple of hours after, but I've had a fat lip all day and there was still some awkwardness for the rest of the day.

That apart, wasnt much of a day to write home about. Everything that went wrong did... all just little things though that made it even more frustrating. Nothing major happened.

To my dear relative, Igor Akinfeyev
Goalkeeper for Mother Russia and CSKA Moscow.
He did his ligaments in in the week.
Wont play again this season.

Erm, french went very well.
All mint in life!